I had a thought pop the other day. What is a thought pop you ask? It is when a really interesting thought pops into your head and it’s so unusual that you can’t ignore it. I recently started this program that helps to diffuse the traumatic memories that being alive inevitably brings and one of the recordings is about loving our body “As-Is”. The idea is that if we don’t love ourselves where we are, how can we love ourselves when we get to where we think we need to be going? One of my toxic traits is that even when I attain the goal that I am seeking, and in this case, I am specifically referring to the way my body looks and feels to me, I up the ante; thereby never accepting my successes and always changing the rules so “success” based on those terms is unattainable.
The reason that this idea popped into my head is because of the mixed messages I feel that most women experience as a dichotomy in a society that teaches us the exact opposite. Have you ever been shopping and seen an item with a sticker on it that says “As-Is” followed by a greatly reduced cost? What is the first thought that you have when you see this? My first thought is, “what’s wrong with it?” My second thought is that it must be broken or missing something vital.
Last week, I was cruising through the aisle of my favorite local thrift store looking for nothing in particular. I just like to look. When things arrive at this place, they have been rejected and abandoned by their previous owners for one reason or another but in another sense, they have a very real opportunity to find a new life here. As I made my way to the purse aisle, I saw this unique purse with bright colored flowers and a cream background, not too big with thin straps. I was intrigued.
The brand name was familiar to me, but I Googled it anyway. I found a similar one online for $80. Now I was really curious because the price tag on the one I was holding said, “As-Is – $4.99” in red ink. I looked it over and saw no “As-Is”- worthy defects so I looked closer. No stains, no tears, no problems at all. After much scrutiny, I finally noticed that the faux leather straps were cracking, obviously because it had been a much-loved purse belonging to someone in the recent past. I left the store without buying it. Was it because of the energy around the words As-Is or because I really didn’t need another purse. If I am being honest, it is because those words made me think less of it than before I had read them.
It was a few days later, when I heard the idea of loving my body “As-Is” that this entire episode came into focus. Why is it that in order to truly love myself, I am supposed to love myself flaws and all, but we live in a world where anything that is marked As-Is is considered less than? Is it any wonder that truly loving ourselves is often so difficult? Love yourself As-Is, but don’t discount your own value in the process. The problem then is the dichotomy around that set of words. The only solution I know of is to clear the negativity around that phrase and move on to the next one and clear that too. As my dear friend Colette Streicher, founder of the MAP Coaching Institute would say, just “Map It” and keep moving forward, so that’s is what I will do, along with learning to love myself “As-Is”. 💖
This is me being me . . . 